Monday, June 11, 2012

Bullies grow up to be Domestic Abusers According to Studies!

Throughout the last few years I have made an effort to talk with individuals regarding bullying.  The questions I have particularly for men, is," what would you do if your son was being bullied?" The answer is "I would hope he would hit the bully and not be a pussy." [Yes this was an actual answer].  I then would say, "well you know bullying is not about one bully bullying a kid, it is usually a bunch of bullies ganging up on the child." So let's say your son endures daily, teasing, taunting, hurtful name calling, a push or a shove, maybe threats of violence. What would you do?" Response: " I would say stand up for yourself and be strong. Let it roll off your back!" This is by far not the right thing to say. If the parents are fortunate to know their child is being bullied, they need to do whatever is possible to rectify the situation before it becomes dangerous.

Look bottom line is that a 2011 study done by the Archives of Pediatrics and Adolescent Medicine surveyed men who said they were bullies in childhood and discovered a significant number developed into domestic abusers. Dr; Judith Cohen, the medical director at Allegheny General Hospital Center for Traumatic Stress in Children and Adolescents states: " School bullying is a pattern of using coercive, controlling behavior to intimidate other people, to control them, to use violence, either physical violence, sexual violence, verbal violence towards others and basically domestic violence is the same kind of behavior, just grown up. 

 Mental health specialists dealing with domestic violence say it is important to stop the bully in its tracks by incorporating effective treatment now such as trauma focus, cognitive behavioral therapy or other treatments to prevent the negative power and control focused relationships in adulthood.

Adults who are in domestic abusive relationships or even children who are in those relationships should never be told to be strong and endure it.  Stand up to the abuser, hit the abuser or ignore the abuser.  Getting out of the situation would be the best advice with the help of crisis intervention and counseling. 

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